His Holiness the 14th the Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso is the head of state and spiritual leader of the Tibetan people. He was born Lhamo Dhondrub 1935, in a small village called Taktser in northeastern Tibet. Born to a peasant family, His Holiness was recognized at the age of two, in accordance with Tibetan tradition, as the reincarnation of his predecessor the 13th Dalai Lama, and thus an incarnation of Avalokitesvara, the Buddha of Compassion. In 1950, His Holiness was called upon to assume full political power (head of the State and Government) after some 80,000 Peoples Liberation Army soldiers invaded Tibet. In 1954, he went to Beijing to talk peace with Mao Tse-tung and other Chinese leaders.

His efforts to bring about a peaceful solution to Sino-Tibetan conflict were thwarted by Bejing's ruthless policy in Eastern Tibet, which ignited a popular uprising and resistance. This resistance movement spread to other parts of the country. On 10 March 1959 the capital of Tibet, Lhasa, exploded with the largest demonstration in Tibetan history, calling on China to leave Tibet and reaffirming Tibet's independence. The Tibetan National Uprising was brutally crushed by the Chinese army. His Holiness escaped to India where he was given political asylum. Some 80,000 Tibetan refugees followed His Holiness into exile. Today, there are more than 120,000 Tibetan in exile. Since 1960, he has resided in Dharamsala, India, known as "Little Lhasa," the seat of the Tibetan Government-in-exile.

I have read several of the Dalai Lama's writings, and have always been struck by the kindness and compassion contained in his words. Even though he is a devout Buddhist, the Dalai Lama still preaches religious pluralism. He is a Unitarian in spirit!

Today I want to share with you some passages, along with my interpretations, from the book Ethics for the New Millennium, written by the Dalai Lama. The book is straightforward and direct, with clear passages that can be understood by people of all ages and backgrounds. Exactly what I would expect from the Dalai Lama!

The first part of the book talks about how the world community is seeking the same goal: happiness. The Dalai Lama states:

The more I see of the world, the clearer it becomes that no matter what our situation, whether we are rich or poor, educated or not, of one race, gender, religion or another, we all desire to be happy and to avoid suffering. Our every intended action, in a sense our whole life, how to choose to live it within the context of the limitations imposed by our circumstances, can be seen as our answer to the great question which confronts us all. "How am I to be happy?"

Everywhere, by all means imaginable, people are striving to improve their lives. Yet strangely, my impression is that those living in the materially developed countries, for all of their industry, are in some ways less satisfied, are less happy, and to some extent suffer more than those living in the least developed countries. Indeed, if we compare the rich with the poor, it often seems that those with nothing are, in fact, the least anxious. As for the rich, they are so caught up with the idea of acquiring still more that they make no room for anything else in their lives. They are constantly tormented, torn between doubt about what might happen and the hope of gaining more. The inner suffering is clearly connected with growing confusion as to what constitutes morality and what its foundations are.

We find modern living organized so that it demands the least possible direct dependence on others. The more or less universal ambition seems to be for everyone to own their own house, their own car, their own computer, and so on in order to be as independent as possible. But with these developments there has arisen a sense that my future is not dependent on my neighbor but rather on my job or, at most, my employer. This in turn encourages us to suppose that because others are not important for my happiness, their happiness is not important to me.

We have, in my view, created a society in which people find it harder and harder to show one another basic affection. In place of community and belonging we find a high degree of loneliness and alienation. All this is compounded by the contemporary rhetoric of growth and economic development that greatly reinforces people's tendency toward competitiveness and envy. And with this comes the perceived need to keep up appearances."

Microsoft, my employer, is a perfect example of a competitive environment where hard work is rewarded by bonuses, stock options and promotions. On the one hand, the atmosphere challenges people to be creative and produce products that enhance productivity and provide entertainment. On the other hand, the atmosphere fosters intense competition, jealousy and envy, the promise of future wealth beyond reasonable expectation. I see many Microsoft employees, myself included, leading unbalanced lives in pursuit of the pot of gold.

The Dalai Lama comments on this societal shift from spiritualism to materialism:

Clearly, a major reason for modern society's devotion to material progress is the very success of science and technology. Now the wonderful thing about these forms of human endeavor is that they bring immediate satisfaction. They're unlike prayer, the results which are, for the most part, invisible - if indeed prayer works at all. In the past, religion and ethics were closely intertwined. Now, many people, believing that science has "disproven" religion, make the further assumption that because there appears to be no final evidence for any spiritual authority, morality itself must be a matter of individual preference.

I think it is genuinely true that members of certain traditional, rural communities do enjoy greater harmony and tranquility than those settled in our modern cities. The challenge we face is therefore to find some means of enjoying the same degree of harmony and tranquility as those more traditional communities while benefiting fully from the material developments.

To suppose that merely by abandoning material progress we could overcome all our problems would be shortsighted. There are countless people in the most developed countries who are active in their concern for others. There is a growing appreciation of fundamental human rights all over the world. People are more accepting of diversity now. It is, of course, true that we can point to an abundance of severely negative trends within modern society. Abusive and exploitive relationships, drug and alcohol addiction, violent crime, rampant divorce. Yet, unlike suffering or sickness, old age and death, none of these problems is by nature inevitable. Nor are they due to any lack of knowledge. When we think carefully, we see that they are all ethical problems. We can point to something more fundamental: a neglect of what I call our inner dimension. Our problems, both those we experience externally - such as wars, crime, and violence - and those we experience internally - our emotional and psychological sufferings - cannot be solved until we address this underlying neglect. A revolution is called for, certainly. But not a political, an economic, or even a technical revolution. We have had enough of these during the past century to know that a purely external approach will not suffice. What I propose is a spiritual revolution.

My call for a spiritual revolution is not a call for a religious revolution. Rather, it is a call for a radical reorientation away from our habitual preoccupation with self. We cannot be loving and compassionate unless at the same time we curb our own harmful impulses and desires.

Long work hours, long commutes, broken families, latch-key kids, the dissolution of the extended family. Is it any wonder our society is struggling with moral foundation? I see this preoccupation with self resulting in a lack of time and energy to reach out to the community. Most people feel so overwhelmed with the responsibilities of work and immediate family that they spend evenings and weekends recovering for next week's battles. The challenge is to find a better balance, to structure your life around the things that have depth and meaning. Lasting happiness is found in relationships and spiritual awakening, not in material goods.

The Dalai Lama gives his personal view on attaining happiness:

According to my experience, the principal characteristic of genuine happiness is peace: inner peace. It is rooted in a concern for others and involves a high degree of sensitivity and feeling. I attribute my sense of peace to the effort to develop concern for others.

If we can develop this quality of inner peace, no matter what difficulties we meet with in life, our basic sense of well-being will not be undermined. Though there is no denying the importance of external factors in bringing this about, we are mistaken if we suppose that they can ever make us happy.

So far as the conditions of inner peace are concerned, one of the most important is our basic attitude. It is essential we recognize that when we desire things for no real reason beyond the enjoyment they give us, ultimately they tend to bring us more problems.

I can say with full confidence that such things as the office of the Dalai Lama, the political power it confers, even the comparative wealth it puts at my disposal, contribute not even a fraction to my feelings of happiness when compared with the happiness I have felt on those occasions when I have been able to benefit others.

Consider the following - we human beings are social beings. We come into the world as the result of others' actions. We survive here in dependence on others. Whether we like it or not, there is hardly a moment of our lives when we do not benefit from others' activities. For this reason, it is hardly surprising that most of our happiness arises in the context of our relationships with others.

For me, nowhere was this dependence on others more apparent than in Montana. Economic hardship, life-threatening weather, vast wilderness. You never knew if the person you met in the supermarket might be the one pulling you out of the ditch that evening. The extreme conditions were challenging, and brought neighbors closer together. I've lived here for 16 months, and have yet to meet my next door neighbor. I found the same thing to be true in California. We pull into our garages, venture outside only to rush on to the next destination. Our Eastside neighborhoods are structured to put space between each other, both physically and spiritually. These barriers are not insurmountable, just deterrents.

The Dalai Lama makes a strong case for more compassion in our lives:

By means of sustained reflection on, and familiarization with, compassion, through rehearsal and practice we can develop our innate ability to connect with others. The more we develop compassion, the more genuinely ethical our conduct will be. Whenever I meet people and have this positive disposition, there is no barrier between us. No matter who or what they are, whether they have blond or black hair, or hair dyed green, I feel that I am simply encountering a fellow human being with the same desire to be happy and to avoid suffering as myself. By keeping in mind that ultimately we are all brothers and sisters, that there is no substantial difference between us, that just as I do, all others share my desire to be happy and to avoid suffering, I can express my feelings as readily as to someone I have known intimately for years. And not just with a few nice words or gestures but really heart to heart, no matter what the language barrier.

When we act out of concern for others, the peace we create in our own hearts brings peace to everyone we associate with. We bring peace to the family, peace to our friends, to the workplace, to our community.

The Dalai Lama maintains that compassion can only be achieved if we develop proper restraint. He states:

The undisciplined mind is like an elephant. If left to blunder around out of control, it will wreak havoc.

In Tibetan, we call such negative and emotional events nyong mong, literally "that which afflicts from within." All negative thoughts and emotions - such as hatred, anger, pride, lust, greed, envy, and so on - are considered afflictions in this sense. Their nature is wholly destructive. They are the very source of unethical conduct. They are also the basis of anxiety, depression, confusion, and stress, which are such a feature of our lives today.

We need to pay close attention and be aware of our body and its actions, of our speech and what we say, and to our hearts and minds and what we think and feel. Gaining insight into our own negativity is a lifelong task, and one which is capable of almost infinite refinement. But unless we undertake it, we will be unable to see where to make the necessary changes in our lives.

Nowhere is the uselessness of afflictive emotion more obvious than in the case of anger. When we become angry, we stop being compassionate, loving, generous, forgiving, tolerant, and patient altogether. We thus deprive ourselves of the very things that happiness consists in.

To say that we need to curb anger and our negative thoughts and emotions does not mean that we should deny our feelings. There is an important distinction to be made between denial and restraint. It is far better to confront a person or situation than to hide our anger away, brood on it, and nurture resentment in our hearts.

I grew up in a family where anger and dissension were rarely expressed. It is still difficult for me to engage in discussions that are highly charged with negative emotion. My tendency is to walk away and shoulder the anger and resentment. I still harbor some resentment for people in my life who have harmed me or my family. I have found that direct confrontation is indeed the best way to disarm these harmful feelings. Our minds are capable of creating mountains out of mole hills, and only by direct communication are we able to see the situation in its true light.

So how does one develop tools to live our lives with more compassion? The Dalai Lama offers some suggestions:

As well as refraining from negative thoughts and emotions, we need to cultivate and reinforce our positive qualities. The Tibetan word so pa literally means "able to bear". Having so pa is what provides us with the strength to resist suffering and protects us from losing compassion even for those who would harm us.

This is expressed so well through the story of Lopon-la, a Tibetan monk who was imprisoned when the Chinese first occupied Tibet. He endured long years of imprisonment and a re-education process during which he was forced to denounce his religion or be tortured. When asked if he had ever been afraid, he admitted that there was one thing that scared him: the possibility that he might lose compassion for his jailers.

Unconditional compassion is a difficult concept, something I struggle with. How many of you can enter a room full of strangers and feel compassion for everyone? Not make judgements based on a person's looks or stature? Not feel anger and resentment towards those people that abuse power or harm others? The Dalai Lama maintains that one can evolve to this state:

All the world's major religions stress the importance of cultivating love and compassion. Compassion, or nying je in Tibetan, is understood mainly in terms of empathy - our ability to enter into and, to some extent, share others' suffering. Buddhists - and perhaps others - believe that this can be developed to such a degree that not only does our compassion arise without any effort, but it is unconditional, undifferentiated, and universal in scope. A feeling of intimacy toward all other sentient beings, including of course those who would harm us.

This sense of equanimity toward all others is not seen as an end in itself, rather it is seen as a springboard to a love still greater. In Tibetan, this ultimate level of attainment is called Nying je chenmo, literally "great compassion".

Actions motivated by the desire to create a good name for ourselves are still selfish, however much they may appear to be acts of kindness. There is nothing exceptional about acts of charity toward those we already feel close to. When we begin to perfect our compassion, neither the other's appearance nor their behavior affects our underlying attitude.

The struggle is thus to overcome these feelings of partiality. We need to strive for even-handedness in our approach toward all others, a level ground which we can plant the seed of nying je chenmo, of great love and compassion. This is an ideal, one which is immensely difficult to attain.

The Dalai Lama stresses that, in order for compassion to become part of our natural state, it is far more effective to work steadily like a stream flowing toward our goal of transformation, as opposed to short bursts of heroic effort. One method I find effective is to begin each day by spending a few minutes to reflect on the value of conducting my life in an ethically disciplined manner, focusing on one thing that I can do that day to reach out to someone else. I try to take a few minutes at the end of each day to review how successful in this that I have been.

I close with these words from His Holiness:

Through love, through kindness, through compassion we establish understanding between ourselves and others. This is how we forge unity and harmony.

To those who say that the Dalai Lama is being unrealistic in advocating this ideal of unconditional love, I urge them to experiment with it nonetheless. They will discover that when we reach beyond the confines of narrow self-interest, our hearts become filled with strength. Ethically wholesome actions arise naturally in the context of compassion.